The phase when we identify the aim of the coaching process and the client tells about the issues that concern her / him is a very important step in the course of the sessions. It is about understanding the aim the client would like to achieve, the issue that needs to be resolved and the situation they wish to understand better and handle in a more conscious way. However, it is not always possible to articulate these things immediately and precisely. Sometimes one just gets the feeling that ”something is not right”, ”I cannot find my place” or ”everything falls apart around me”.

It is a feeling I am familiar with, I have been there myself. At that time it felt hard and scary, I just couldn’t get a grip on my life. So I was in a state like that when I met Gabi, my coach. At our first session she told me to take a seat, gave me a pack of sticky notes, a pen and asked a question: What’s alive in you? I didn’t get it. What does this question mean? Alive in me? When? Where? At my workplace? In my life? But I didn’t get any further instructions. Only the question “What’s alive in you?” was posed, and that was it. 1 sticky note – 1 word or thought. I became very annoyed. However, as I have always felt a compulsion to conform, I started to write: 2.00 p.m. Monday afternoon, September…

And then I was left there with that question for 40 minutes. Once I had run out of all the shallow phrases and empty words, and had noted down a complete list of all the pieces of furniture in the room, I had only myself to look at. And suddenly, all my feelings, all the bitterness, pain and anger I had inside just burst out. After I had managed to let out all these negative feelings, the nice experiences also emerged. Finally, I had about 50–60 Post-its in front of me, all covered with handwritten notes.

My next task was to sort the notes according to a system of my choice. Afterwards, we took a look at the proportion of positive and negative thoughts. There was a lot of laughing and crying, and finally I felt that I am not drifting anymore, there was no falling, I managed to hold my world together which had been falling apart before. I had a well-rounded view of my world, I could reorganise or transform it.

Yes, sometimes we feel that nothing is working. But the important thing is that we do not get stuck in this feeling. Just remember: energy flows where attention goes. Channel your energy into finding the way out. Focus and connect to yourself!